2026 Olympics: beauty, heartbreak, and performance anxiety on ice

Ilia Malinin showed the world what resilience looks like 

The 2026 Winter Olympics are over, and team USA did very well! I'm not a hockey fan, but even I was cheering for mens and womens hockey over the weekend. 

My attention during the winter games has always been drawn to figure skating. The combination of beauty and athleticism is fascinating, and it doesn't hurt that it is one of the few sports set to music. 

I was especially interested by Ilia Malinin, the 21 year old from Virginia who excelled in his short program and then fell (literally) during his next event, and finished in eighth place overall. He told the press he let the pressure/expectations get to him, and you can see a distinct difference in the tension in his body between the two programs. 

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Ilia's story does not end there. 

In his free skate performance, he delivered a powerful, emotional performance to the song "Fear" by NF. 

Side note:  If you are unfamiliar with NF, I recommend you look up his music. He tackles emotions is a unique and powerful way, and the visuals in his videos add a fascinating depth to his lyrics. 

Ilia did not give up after his rough performance. In interviews, he said Tom Brady and Simone Biles contacted him and offered him encouragement and inspiration, sharing their own struggles with pressure and performance anxiety. 

And he then he took to the ice again, pouring all of his frustration and anxiety into his program to deliver a raw, emotional performance that speaks to all of us about grit and resilience. 

Parents, grandparents, and teachers: we need to teach and model to the children in our lives that life is not a binary system of winning and failure. Life is messy, and emotions are complex, even in children. Sometimes we prepare really well and perform really well, and that is cause for great celebration. Sometimes we prepare well and something happens in the moment to distract us just enough that we don't perform as well as we hoped to. 

When that happens, our first inclination is often to give up and walk away, saying "I guess I'm not talented enough". But if we quit (or let our children quit) after a bad performance, we are encouraging the binary mindset of winning or failure.

What if we encouraged a growth mindset of "How can I learn from this experience?" 

Examples of a growth mindset statements would be:

"I am disappointed, but I can learn from this"

"I made some mistakes but I am proud of myself for finishing"

"What did I do well, and what can I do better?" 

I love celebrating a beautiful performance-wether it is music, or sports, or theater-as much as the next person, but sometimes the best life lessons are what we learn from the performances that don't go our way. 

Talent is not something you are born with. It is developed over time. 

Life is not about winning or losing. It's about keeping the game going.